


Two Tons of Brick

by Holtzmanns_Beautiful_Chaos



Category: Ghostbusters (2016), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blood, Erin dies, Erin gets crushed by a falling building, F/F, Hurt, Kevin isn't really in this, Pain, and she stays dead, but not in the way you might think she does, i forgot about him, shes a sneaky ghost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:34:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8623024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holtzmanns_Beautiful_Chaos/pseuds/Holtzmanns_Beautiful_Chaos
Summary: Erin learns to survive as an almost-human, class 7 fully caporal ghost. It would have been easy, had she not tried to hide the fact she was dead to her friends. Tried to hide the fact that she could be the next Rowan.Or the one where Erin died, and tries to keep it a secret from the girls, just wanting to continue living life as a normal human.





	1. Chapter 1

She heard nothing, and yet everything at once. Someone was calling her name, two people were calling her name, three people calling her name.  
Something was wrong.  
They didn't know where she was, she didn't even think she knew where she was. But that wasn't what was wrong, it was something else, she could feel it.  
"Erin!"  
"Come on man, where are you?"  
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" The last voice sang.

She tried to say, "I'm over here!" She heard nothing. No voice. She couldn't breath!  
Her hands grabbed at her throat, she couldn't even feel her own throat.

"She probably went back to the car to regroup." 

She looked down. She couldn't even see herself. She saw nothing, just blackness, like a thick blanket had been thrown over her eyes. She could see, but at the same time she knew she couldn't. Like waking up in a purely black room. Her eyes were open and seeing.  
But she could only see black.  
She was suffocating.  
Silence.

Heart beat.  
She had no heartbeat.  
Her heart was racing and yet, she couldn't hear it. There was silence and yet no dull thud thud, thud thud, thud thud, behind her ears, in her head, or in her chest.

Was she dead? Yes.  
What had killed her?  
\----

"Ok what do we know?" Abby was driving this time. Holtzmann was sitting in the backseat fiddling with a screwdriver and a proton grenade. Erin was pressed up against the door, staying as far away from it as she could.

"Nothing much on my radar, an old library turned into an orphanage. Old rotted wood, and crumbling brick, I'd watch your step to, nails and missin' wooden boards comin' right up."

"Who called about the ghost?" Erin called upfront.

"Bunch'a kids, called bout a ghost taking over their hideout. Otherwise, place is abandoned." 

"Oh thank the lord." Erin had to agree with Abby, their job was so much easier when civilians didn't get in the way. 

They all jumped out of the car and grabbed their packs from the back.

The giant building did look old, practically falling apart.  
One bottom corner of the brick building had caved in and was obviously the way the teenagers had gotten into their hideout.

Abby tried the large wooden door at the front, but it had long since warped itself shut.  
"Through the collapse?" 

Holtzmann ran ahead crossing the heap of bricks in record time.  
Then Patty, Abby, and finally Erin taking up the rear.

"Getting slow in your old age there dear?" Holtz nudged her in the side.

"Oh shut up." 

"Wait if Erin is old, does that make her a cougar for you Holtz?" 

"SHUT UP!" They all burst out laughing at Erin's flustered excuse for a comeback.

"Anyways! We have 8 floors to cover, two for each of us. Splitting up will make this busy easy as the pie. The kid only mentioned one ghost, if you see it, get on the walkie and then buckle down for backup. Questions?"

"Yea, why we always gotta split up?"

"No questions?" Abby ignored Pattys remark, "Good! Erin, you've got the first and fifth floor, I've got the second and sixth, Patty, you've got third and seventh, Holtz, you've got good thighs for stairs, so naturally you've got the forth and eighth, let's just hope you don't get it on the eighth, because I ain't hiking up the extra stairs." The girls snickered and left. Holtz and Patty sprinting up the stairs and onto their separate floors.

"God I wish I had their energy." 

"Wouldn't we all?" Abby groaned and pushed herself up the brick staircase to the second floor.

Erin watched the roof, hearing exactly where her partners in crime were. She hated the way every step squeaked. This was the ground floor, surely they could have just put the boards down onto the ground and left it like that? But no, since this was a ghost film every step must squeak.

Erin heard Holtz and Abby call clear, Patty was thirty seconds later, and Erin followed after another 20 seconds.  
She had the kitchen room, and she wasn't taking any chances with a poltergeist. Not that she knew it was, but by her luck, it would have been if she hadn't been careful.

"Clear!"

She hauled herself up to the fifth floor, there were obvious holes in the wood once she stepped off of the solid brick staircase. Each and every step bent underneath her, wood warping to its near-breaking point. 

She was in a far corner when she heard Patty yelling ghost through the walkie. Sprinting across the rotting wood floor would probably prove fatal, and the time it would take to cross safely and hike up another two flights of stairs would be time consuming.  
Blood pumping in her ears, she started her way back to the stairs. 

The sound of the proton blasters made her pause.  
The sound of two tons of brick made her look up just in time to see the ceiling collapse in on her.  
\------

She remembered now, she remembered the feeling of a board impaling her, but it was just a feeling she could remember, there hadn't been any pain associated with the memory. 

Nor the brick that forced her unconscious, nor the 2000 other bricks that had splintered every bone in her body.

She could feel something in the back of her mind. Like an instinct.  
She stood up, or maybe she laid down, or possibly upside down, it felt like she were in space, there was no up or down, not in this darkness.

She took gentle steps forward until the last step felt like stepping into the sun from a dark room.

The light blinded her for a moment, before realizing she had stepped out from underneath the bricks.

Or mostly stepped out, it mostly was just her head that had come into the air.

She stepped fully out, and suddenly she could breath, and see, she could smell the dust in the air from the collapse of the corner of the building. 

"Erin!" She could hear the near frantic calls of her teammates.

They had finally noticed she wasn't near the car.  
That meant they would be rushing back inside to find her.  
Finding her means searching through two stories of fallen brick. That wouldn't do them any good though, she was already dead, very very dead. "Not much left to call a body" kind of dead.

Holtz probably would have found that funny. 

She watched as her team searched the nearly collapsed building a second time that day. 

It broke her heart to see Abby break down, realizing what had happened.  
Holtzmann refused to show any emotion, but not keeping up with her ecstatic and bouncy appearance either.

Patty held strong for the both of them, called the police, told them all of the details, and then eventually drive them all back to the firehouse.

Blissfully unaware of their forth passenger.

No one had found her body yet. And it was nearing dark.  
\-----

 

"Thank you Patty." Zip.  
"I'm sorry Abby." Nothing.  
"I love you Jillian." No one heard her quiet confession.

"Being a ghost su-"

"Do you think she passed on?" Abby stared down at her coffee. The four of them had moved into the firehouse break room, sitting in the odd chairs laid out across the room. It had been four hours since they left the scene.

"She didn't have any reason to stay." Holtz's comment hurt. She was right there after all.

"No boyfriend."

"No cats either." Were they suggesting she was a crazy cat lady?

"No dogs allowed in her apartment. Fish maybe?" Really?

"Erin wasn't really one for fish, couldn't keep them alive." Were they actually roasting a dead chick? That's it, she was leaving!

"How do you not keep a fish alive?" By now she had made it to the door of the break room.

"I know right! Not much of a green thumb either, plants were a no go!"

"Definitely no reason to stay!" They were all giggling now. All at her expense, but it was worth it.

Suddenly she felt the world shift, she stumbled out the door and put her arm out to the wall to catch herself.  
Wait, she didn't just fall through it.  
She looked down, she was a full caporal class 7 ghost, physical body with weight and colour. She was practically human. No wonder they had never found any class 7 before, they all blended in!  
But what did she do with this new information?  
She waited a full two minutes to see if her power dropped any, or if she would start to flicker, or something that would let her know this would fade.  
Then a thought hit her.  
She was like Rowan now, or what he had been in his last moments on earth. 

With a shaky breath, she quietly stepped into the doorway, and leaned against it.

"She had probably even finished her last theory!" They all burst out laughing. 

"Oh laugh it up! You know I'm never done theorizing." She decided to make herself known.

All attention was on her in an instant. All mouths open in shock. "Erin?"

And then Holtz tackled her into a massive hug. Nearly taking them both out the door and down the stairs. Luckily she had stepped left and toppled into a guard railing instead.

Abby and Patty joining them both within seconds. 

And then Abby slapped her, "NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!" And then leaped back into a tearful hug.

"Where the fuck have you been! And how are you not dead!"

"Oh god, story time." A few minutes later, they were all back into their chairs and couches.

"I think I was directly below you guys when the fighting started, not entirely sure, but when the building collapsed the only thing I could do was ditch the proton pack and bail out the window."

Well now that she had lied, she needed to go retrieve her body before it was found. She was staying human. A decision she had made moments before.

"But the uh, there was a tree right outside the window, and although it broke my fall, or I think it did... I also hit my head against the tree and that knocked me out."

She wasn't lying about the tree. She remembered it being there when she was looking around as a ghost waiting to go back home.

"You guys left me! It was dark when I woke up! I had to walk here." Erin pretended to look upset before laughing, "But I'm not dead! Lucky me!"  
Since when were her lying skills so good... Well, the lack of blood rushing around was probably helping. Low heart rate. It only sped up a little bit since she was lying. Now it was at a more human pace.  
God this is weird.

"No headache or anything?" Holtz quizzed her, coming over to poke at her head.

"Well a little bit of a headache. But apart from that, nothing but a few bumps."

Abby jumped up, "We need to tell the police that your ok!" She raced to her phone and punching in a number from a piece of paper. 

"Right, I need to go home. I'm exhausted and need me some sleep." Erin and Holtz agreed with Patty.  
Abby agreed once she was off the phone.

Erin decided she would walk home. After all, once she was out of sight, she could go invisible and just fly, that was something she figured out how to do at the old library slash orphanage.

 

She went straight to the collapse instead, getting her body somewhere no one knew was top priority. It didn't take long to find her body, she pulled the proton pack off and pulled her body straight to the top of the brick pile. 

She was amazed to find that the plank that had struck her, had also stopped a lot of the bleeding. Having expanded slightly taking in the blood, which had probably stopped even more of the blood loss.

It made her job easier. Less bloodied brick to sort through and dispose of.

She dragged her body over to the opposite wall, and flew up to the roof, there was still a lot of brick that was dangerously close to falling in. She pushed a weak spot on the wall and it collapsed in, covering all evidence that she had dragged something up from underneath.

She took one last glance at her body before she wrapped it up into a large garbage bag. Several large bags actually.  
She wasn't attached to her body, but for some reason she didn't want it to be devoured by fish.  
Ok maybe she was a little bit sentimental.

She traveled out far into the ocean, and threw the bag into it.

The bricks easily weighing enough to drag it into the depths.

 

She easily flew back to her apartment, and changed into some PJ's.

Turns out she could just change her clothing into anything she wanted. Or make it disappear completely.  
When taking off her spectral clothes, she could leave it in the floor for a good few minutes before it would fade from the human existence.

She looked at her bed, could she sleep? She felt mentally tired.

She set up a camera on her side table, it would record all night, and then she would learn in the morning.  
\----

Morning came, and she learned she left existence when she fell asleep.  
This may prove to be unhelpful later on. But at least she felt restored. At least she wasn't dead.

She laughed at her own joke and proofed in clothes for her to wear.  
Maybe being dead gave her a new sense of humour.  
Maybe being dead gave her a new life.

She walked to work again. It was 5 in the morning when she arrived.

She conducted experiments before anyone else arrived at the firehouse, it was usual for her to get there first anyways. 

Erin was very surprised with the results of her experiments.

First, the PKE meter never registered her when she was fully caporal, but still went nuts when she was invisible or in that weird "blue" state that they usually found ghosts in.

Second, the proton packs did nothing when the proton streams were wrapped around her. Sure it stung a little bit. But more of a gentle zap than anything else.

Third, the containment unit did nothing to phase her. Not at all a struggle to step away from it.

She gently put all of the ghost bust tools away. Those three were her only dangers as of yet. She was sure Holtzmann would create more with that brilliant mind of hers.  
But she would role with the punches.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls get called to another bust. Erin gets separated from Patty, and is targeted by a ghost.  
> Abby wants to go to the hospital, Erin just wants to sleep.

Erin glares at the string of numbers ahead of her. They just don't match up, why...  
"You wrote the answer of 13! wrong." Holtzmann's voice made her jump, "Top right corner, down four rows. It's 6,227,020,800, you missed the 8. Aren't factorials just amazing?"

Erin groans, there go five hours of work. She's reaching for the dry erased when a sharp alarm goes off near the door.

"We've got another one!" Holtzmann rockets down the fireman pole in a flurry of overalls and flipped blond hair.

Today was day 9 of being dead.  
Erin found it surprisingly easy to deal with, once she got over the small details. Like being dead, for one, and not being able to hold in food, being another.

Not eating made life so much easier. Weirder, because having everything you've eaten simply fall to the floor every time you turned ghost was definitely something you should classify as weird, but it was easier. 

No need to spend money on groceries, or cab rides to work, because why ride when you could just fly or walk. Temperature wasn't a thing she dealt with anymore. She could tell when it got cold, like a freezing shower, but it didn't effect her like it had before. She got goosebumps sure, but it still felt like room temperature to her.

Long story short, her savings plan was loving the new ghost thing.

 

She jogged down the stairs in her overalls, carrying two of their packs down from Holtz's lab, Patty carrying the other two right behind her.

"Jeese! These things are heavy!" Patty wheezed behind her, "I'm glad we don't have to carry two of 'em all the time!"

"Uh yea, they really are heavy, gosh." Erin grunted and slowed her steps a bit more. She wasn't put out at all, but if Patty of all people was, then she knew she needed to relent a bit.

She hauled the two packs up into the back of the new Ecto-1. Metal extensions taking the majority of the weight.  
"You been working out man?" Patty asked after throwing her own two packs onto the extensions.

"Uh, yea a little bit, mostly the arms and stomach though. I thought it would make moving around in the pack easier." Erin scratched the back of her head while looking at the packs.

"Uh huh, sure." Patty smirked, "It has nothing to do with Holtzy's comment about good looking shoulders?"

Erin bit her lip, "That's an... Added bonus, I guess." She turned and fled back into the firehouse. Nearly running into Abby to escape Patty's full bellied laughter.

"Holtzmann! Let's go! Pick it up! Get down here! Move move move!" Abby was calling out like a rugby coach.

"Yes ma'am!" Holtz was seen seconds later with an armful of their sidearms sprinting down the stairs. She handed a few toys to Erin, "Gilbert be a dear and carry these for me yea?" 

Erin choked on air when Holtz kissed her cheek and continued to sprint away. "That girl is gonna be the death of you, I can tell already."

Erin laughed, "Oh shut up!" 

"You aren't denying it!" Abby held the door open for her, and Holtz took the toys from her again, and arranged them in the back.

Holtz drove again, much to almost everyone's discomfort, Patty and Erin clung onto the "oh shit" handles mounted on the roof. While Abby and Holtzmann bellowed out whatever crappy pop song was on the radio.

Patty nudged her, "We need to invest in earplugs!" 

Erin laughed and pulled out earmuffs from her bag. "Always gotta be prepared!" She yelled back as she handed them to her.

Patty threw up no arguments with her, and wedged the ear protection overtop her head.

 

"Ok girls gather'roung! Gather'round! I got one one new toy for us all today, I call it the panic button!" Holtz's smile gleamed, "Yea it needs a better name, but that's what it is, punch this baby and it sends out a distress call to the other three members of the team."  
She pressed the button on the side of her pack, and a high pitched squeal sounded from the other three's pack.  
And then Holtz's own pack started to loudly beep.

"If you hear the alarm, bail and go look for someone whose down. Whoevers pack in sounding is the one whose in trouble." She flipped a switch on her pack, and the alarms stopped, "So if your in trouble, hit the button and hunker down for the long haul." 

"All bets says Erin pulls it first?" 

"Shut up Abby!"

"Is shut up your only comeback?"

Erin grumbled as she grabbed her pack, with an intended roughness.

Holtz came to her sort-of rescue "I bet Abby pulls it first. Erin can't have all the firsts now can we?" 

"Truth!"

Patty handed everyone else their packs, while Holtz gave out side arms.

"The owner thinks there are two ghosts haunting the factory. An elephant and a woman. This place used to be on the same spot a traveling circus came to some decade ago, and presumably an elephant died from being over worked. Poor thing."

"And the woman?"

"No clue, could be any number of things. Ranging from murder to accidental." 

"Teams of two for this?" Erin suggested.

"It's either that or fully splitting, and we all know how that ended last time." Abby shook her head.

"Teams it is then! Abby with Crazy, and Erin with me."

"Meet in the middle, top floor. Erin go left entrance, Holtzy go right."  
They broke off and left in their teams.

 

"I don't like this." Erin crept through the dark hallway, kicked open a door, shon the light in, and moved to the next door.

"I heard you the first time." Patty was doing the same on the opposite side of the hallway. Checking office rooms were the worst. 

"Something feels off about this place." Something ticked at the back of Erin's mind, like an instinct, but she didn't know what was setting it off.

"Honey, it's haunted with an elephant and a dead chick. 'Course it's gonna feel off." Well she wasn't wrong, it would be the first time they face an elephant, or anything bigger than a human or a ghost dog.

Erin kicked open another door, and her "weird" feeling kicked into overdrive.  
She frowned and took a step further into the room.

"You see something?" Patty was flashing her light into her own room.

"No but it-" she was cut off by a door slamming behind her.

"Erin!" Party's fists were banging against the door.

"I'm fine Patty!" Erin called over her shoulder, "But I have a feeling I'm not alone in here." 

"Ya think!" Erin could hear Patty kicking the door hard. 

Her focus was on the nearly clear spirit in front of her. "H-Hello?"

"You're a dead woman." It whispered, turning its head slightly to the side. Erin could now see that it's back was towards her.

"W-What? What are you talking about?" 

"Erin who are you talking to!" Patty called through the door.

"The ghost, Patty, the woman ghost is in here with me. She's not attacking!"

"You're one of us now, why would I want to hurt you?" The woman turned completely around.

"Erin is there another way inside?"

Erin swallowed, "There's a door on the opposite side of the room." Patty left immediately, Erin wasn't comforted by that fact.

"What do you mean? 'I'm one of you'? What does that mean?" Erin holstered the gun back into the pack.

"You're dead, and more so, you're strong, so much stronger than the rest of us." The woman sounded like she was in awe of Erin.

"I-i don't know what that means." Erin backed away as the ghost came closer, her pack came up against the wall.

"It means you could lead us. Fix the boundaries, reunite families!" The woman stroked Erin's cheek. Sounding so hopeful.

"I can't do that!"

"Sure you can, you just have to believe you can! I could go home Erin, like you, I could go home every day, my loved ones don't have to cry every night! Erin, you could lead so many of us out of the dark." 

Ectoplasm ran down the ghosts face like tears. 

Erin shook her head, "I can't. You don't understand, I can't do that!" 

The woman stepped away from her, shaking her head, "He was right, I shouldn't have put any faith in you." The woman's face started to change, "When have the Ghostbusters ever cared about us Erin? All they do is murder and imprison us! And you stand with them! You're one of us now! You should learn to start fighting for the right side!"

The ghost slammed into her, knocking the door down and pushed them both into the adjacent room.

Slamming her into the factories thick cement wall, again and again until something in the pack gave way and started sparking. The ghost tore the pack from Erin back and threw it across the room. In the time it took the ghost to do so, Erin had stood up on shaky legs. She couldn't stand down now, it might've been the end of her.

They lunged for one another, meeting somewhere in the middle, the ghost kept them airborne screaming and clawing through Erin's chest. Almost like she was pulling something from her.  
Being airborne gave Erin the use of her legs as well as her arms, delivering swift blows to the ghosts gut using her knees and feet, and blows to the ghosts neck and head with her elbows and fists.

An elbow to the ghosts eyes sent it into a rage, tossing Erin back into the middle room like a rag doll. Whatever the ghost had done to Erin while they were fighting, it was bad.

"Erin!" Patty had finally forced open the door on the opposite side of the room. And charged in to take a defensive position between her and the ghost.

"Confirmed contact with the woman ghost, Erin is down, repeat, Erin is down." Patty yelled down into her walkie-talkie before opening fire at the ghost.

Erin groaned at being thrown, and stayed on the floor. It was like the ghost had drained her energy, she struggled to stay solid.

Patty took no chances with the ghost and tore her apart rather than waiting for Holtz to arrive with the trap.

"Erin you good?" Patty was immediately at her side.

She struggled out a "Yea, doing fantastic." Trying to mimic Holtzmann's sarcasm.

Patty laughed at the sad attempt "Ghost is down and out for the count, Erin's pretty beat up but is doing fine. Do you guys need help over there?"

Patty took off at a jog when an affirmative "We could use the help." Came though.

Erin waved her off with an "I'm fine, I'll meet you guys at the car."

Forty Three minutes later, the other three girls came trotting out the front door covered in sweat and slime, but laughing and smiling nonetheless.  
That was, until they saw Erin sitting against the Ecto-1's back tire, head down and breathing hard. The destroyed pack laying ten yards back from the car.

"Shit, Erin, are you ok? Holtz help me get her up." With the help of her friends, Erin was able to get stuffed into the back seat. Her head laying in Holtzmann's lap as the car took off down the street.

"We need to get you to a hospital." 

Erin shook her head, "No, no hospital, home."

"Gilbert, you need-" Erin's head waved back and forth in Holtz lap again.

"Not-not, major. Just, attack." Erin took a gulp of breath, she had no idea what happened in that fight, she had never experienced anything like it. "Panic'n, 'nxiety attack... Meds, t'home. Make- make it better."

"Hush hush now Beautiful, we'll get you to your house." She looked up from Erin. "Abby take us to Erin's condo." 

"What! Holtzmann, she needs help! Probably broken ribs if we're lucky!" Erin whimpered, it definitely wasn't a broken rib, she's had one of those before, and this wasn't that.

Holtz ran her fingers through Erin's hair, "Hey, hey now, it's ok Er I got this." Her voice was soothing, "Abby, she hasn't broken anything, she's having an attack. Panic and probably anxiety, she has her medication in her house."

Abby growled, as she looked at Holtzmann and Erin through the rear view mirror. "Fine! But if she's broken anything, I'm blaming you."

The car came to a halt an agonizing 20 minutes later, Holtz had been doing breathing exercises with her for a majority of the ride. Had this been an actual panic attack, Holtz would have known exactly what to do.

But this, this was much closer to the boundary of 'your energy had been brutally ripped out of you, have fun figuring out how to fix this.'

She fumbled with her condo keys, giving them to Holtz. "Short one for, the knob. Long for the- for the deadlock. Fob to, get into the, building." Her head falling against Holtzmann's chest as she dragged her from the car.

Patty and Holtz each had a shoulder, carrying Erin through the building and into her condo. Abby opening any and all doors in their way.  
Only letting go of her when they gently laid her down on her bed.

Holtzmann set out three of her medications, and she reached for the one that would have worked on her panic attacks.

She dry swallowed it and collapsed back into her bed, shaking like a leaf.

Half an hour passed before anyone came in to check on her.

Holtz sat at her side, "Erin-"

"I just... I just need sleep Holtz. Thank you. I'll, uh, see you tomorrow."

"Nope, not happening, we're all staying here to make sure you're ok. Or at least I am, Patty went home, and Abby says she's going to leave once you've agreed to it." Erin couldn't help but stare at the woman in front of her. 

"You're worried." Somehow, Holtzmann's smile widened, and she laid down next to Erin, throwing a sloppy arm around the physicists middle.

"Course I'm worried about you Eggy." Erin resisted a sigh when she felt the woman's fingers comb through her hair. "You're one of the team! Can't have you popping off sickly now can we?"

Erin stayed quiet.

"And I don't wanna loose you again." She said much quieter. 

Erin sighed and turned around so she could see the engineers face. "Nu uh, you're stuck with me, this whole ghost business's got me good."

"Could you two be PG-13 when I come in? Thank you." Abby stepped into Erin's room. "I'm leaving now, Holtz you better stay here all night got it? And call me if anything happens."

Holtz rolled out of Erin's bed onto the floor, and jumped up in a salute. "Yes ma'am!"

"And let the poor woman sleep would you." And with that, Abby left.

"For once I think I'm going to have to agree with her." Erin said, digging her face into her pillow. "I really need sleep, and I am not going to be able to do that with you in here."

She could hear Holtzmann's smirk from here. "No, not like that!" Erin slowly stood up. "There's a guest room further down the hallway, you can sleep there. Explore, go mad. But a warning, I sleep like the dead. Don't even try to wake me up."

She gently pushed Holtz out of her room. "Good night Jillian." And then she promptly shut the door, locking it before she went back to, and flopped onto, her bed. 

She heard a gentle, "Goodnight Gilbert." Before she ceased to exist once again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtzbert fluff, angst, and then more fluff.  
> More of a filler than anything, but is still vital to the story.

Your one of us now.  
You're a dead woman.  
You're strong.  
So much stronger than the rest of us.  
Lead us Erin.

Erin woke with a start and groaned as she rolled over to glanced at the clock beside her bed.   
7:50  
Easily the longest she's slept in a long time. Even before she died, she would wake up at 7 at the absolute latest.

She sat up in bed, and clenched her eyes shut at the wobbly feeling in her head. Once the feeling passed, she slowly got up and went into her bathroom, ran the tap, and shoved her hands under the water.

She growled at the way the water just passed through her faded blue fingers.

"You alive in there Gilbert?" Holtz knocked on her bedroom door.

"Yup! Definitely! Just have a headache is all." Well it wasn't totally a lie, she did have a bit of a headache, but it was passing the more awake she got.

She sighed as she physicalized and opened the door to her room.  
Holtz was laying down on the couch book in hand.

"You realize everything in your fridge is at least a couple days off yes?" Crap, she should have thought of that.

Erin shrugged, "I'm never really here except to sleep, I only get stuff I need for mornings. Guess it just slipped my mind."

Holtzmann rose a perfectly trained eyebrow. 

"What? That happens sometimes." Erin shuffled on her feet fixated on something behind Holtz. "Wait is that my toaster?"

"Well, uh, you see, I did a thing, and I kind of, umm." Holtz clapped her hands together, "ANYWAYS! I'm glad you're back to your good ol'self! Wanna go for pancakes? Denny's does a mean pancake! Come on let's go already!" 

Holtzmann grabbed Erin's hand and pulled her out the door towards the elevator. Erin barley had enough time to grab her purse from the shelf before Holtz was yanking her into the elevator.

It was only when they had reached the Denny's two blocks down did Erin realize something. "Wait, wait, wait, Holtz I'm still wearing my pajamas!" 

The engineer looked her up and down, "And you look fantastic!"

"No but-"

"Look, Gilbert, darling, my dearest, this is Denny's we're talking about." She gestured to the building in front of her, "They have probably seen a lot worse than someone in cute red flower pajamas."

Erin coughed uncomfortably at being called cute.  
Holtz continued, "And as compensation for this whole clothing ordeal, as well as the fact I locked your keys in your condo, I'm going to buy you breakfast." 

Erin's brain stuttered, she left her keys in her condo?   
She zipped out her purse and rocketed through it, finding nothing, "Why did you take my keys out of my bag!"

"Uh well, I was hungry, and you didn't have any food in your fridge. So I went and bought Pringles and Mountain Dew." She shrugged, "I forgot to put them in your bag again, their sitting on your kitchen counter."

Erin groaned again, nothing she could do about it now. "Fine! But you definitely owe me pancakes."

"Great! It's a date!" Holtz grabbed her hand and pulled her into the restaurant before she could complain.

 

Erin patted her uneasy stomach, "Ok, so, those pancakes were amazing. Who knew you could put not only banana, but also chocolate chips and strawberries into a pancake." As much as her stomach hated her eating anything, her tastebuds loved the decision. 

Holtz nodded enthusiastically, the second half of her last pancake poking out of her mouth, having stuffed the entire thing in. Only finishing last because of complaining about how hot the plate was, and absolutely refusing to touch her food until she was done the chocolate milk she ordered.

"We should probably be heading to work soon though, because as much as I loved our breakfast date," She teased, "I don't think Abby and Patty would be very happy with us being to late."

Late was out of the question actually, they were already being a few hours behind, and had yet to leave Denny's for the walk to work.

Holtz's head bobbed, like she was contemplating what Erin said. Or possibly just trying to chew enough to swallow.  
It was the latter. 

 

Almost as soon as they walked into the firehouse, Erin was the target of Abby's and Patty's laughter.  
Honestly, what could possibly be so funny about Erin wearing her pajamas to work?

"Because it's YOU wearing it! Miss Tweedledee tweed!" Patty lost it at Abby's tongue twister.

Erin grumbled at the other three woman, marching up the stairs after pointing to Holtz to accuse her, "I blame you for this."

Immediately going to the bathroom to rid herself of the food that lay in her stomach giving her massive stomach pains. Stopping at her locker to grab a change of clothes.

 

"You keep clothes in your locker?" Holtz's voice made her jump a half hour later while she was staring at the newly written equation in front of her. 

"You are talking to the walking talking ectoplasmic magnet." She scoffed, "Of course I keep a clean change of clothes here, in fact I keep several."

"Mmhm." Holtz passed Erin a cup of coffee. One small mercy, caffeine still effected ghost her the same way it effected human her. Not that she needed energy, but it was nice to keep the small things in her life.

Holtz watched her as she sipped at it. Smile as large as ever. Then her observer coughed and walked away, marching down the stairs.

Weird

 

Several hours pass, and Erin can feel Holtzmann's gaze on her. "Did you want something?" She asked as she scratched at a dent in her whiteboard.

"Are you ok? Like really ok?" The sincerity in Holtzmann's voice made her look at her.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" She stood up from sitting on her desk.

"It's, uh, it's nothing!" Holtz turned on her heels and all but ran back to her workbench.

Erin took a breath in and slowly pushed it out as she walked over to Holtz. "Come on, I know you. If you're asking then it must be important to you." 

"Nope! It's nothing, definitely." She kept her face skillfully turned away as she threw a small warped piece of soldering steel into a pile in the edge of the lab. Throwing her arms up and cheering with obviously fake enthusiasm.

Erin tentatively reached out for her hand. "Jillian, you are a terrible lier."

The woman's shoulders visibly collapsed as she turned and put her face to the older woman's shoulder. 

"I'm sorry." She breathed into her shoulder. 

Erin wrapped her arms around the smaller woman, "Hey, hey now, it's ok."

"Is it? Is it really ok?" Holtz stiffened up and started to back away.

Erin tightened her grip on Holtz before letting go and resting her hands on the engineers stiff shoulders. "Jillian. Talk to me, otherwise I can't help."

Holtz was quiet for a few seconds, playing with her golden lensed glasses before finally just tossing them into her table.  
"None of us knew what to do. Either time, both times. You, we just," Holtz ran her hands over her face, Erin waited patiently, "We thought we lost you at that old brick thing. Abby and I, we didn't know what to do. We looked for you high and low, we thought." Holtz went silent.

"You thought I was caught in the collapse." Erin said softly, starting an understanding of what Jillian was talking about. 

The engineer nodded, "It nearly killed Abby, I think, and I didn't- I didn't know what to do, Erin, Patty was the one who kept us ok. She called the cops, she handled them, she drove us home, kept us, well, she kept us ok. Until you came back."

"Jillian-" Erin whipped a tear from Holtz's cheek.

"I'm not done." She coughed, forcing a held breath out, "And then, and then at the factory, Patty said you were down, and Abby and I looked at each other, and we started running. We were going to save you. But we ran into that elephant, and we couldn't, we couldn't get to you. I thought I failed you." 

Erin pulled Holtz into another hug, the woman's nose tucked into the crook of her neck. 

"But then Patty, wonderful Tolan, saved you, said you were ok, said you were going to meet us at the car when you'd recovered. But you hadn't recovered, and we were in the back seat of the car, and you were hurting, you couldn't breath, and, and I was convinced I was going to loose you again." Her voice cracked at the end, forcing her to stop.

"I'm ok Jillian, I'm right here." She grabbed Holtz hand and pressed it against her own chest. "It was a panic attack," she lied, "I was so worried about you three when Patty left, we've never faced an elephant before. I was worried you had gotten yourself hurt. I worked myself into a panic, I'm good at that you know." 

Holtz nodded, "But I'm ok now Jill, I'm walking, talking, and here, I'm even breathing." Her and Jillian's hands rose up and down when Erin took a deep breath in and slowly breathed it out. The back of her throat making a gentle humming noise in hopes it sounded reassuring.

Holtzmann laughed dryly a few minutes later, "God we're good at this. Look at us, we're a disaster!" 

Erin laughed, "Well you're not lying." She pulled away from the woman at last, gently cupping the woman's jawline, stroking her cheek, "I'm never leaving you Jillian. Never."

"Never ever?" 

Erin placed a kiss on her forehead, "That's a promise." Holtzmann's baby blue eyes sparkled as her grin grew even more.

"Wanna help me repair your pack?" She asked in an almost shy voice.

"Do you need to ask?" 

 

Erin had left for a total of 10 minutes to go double check numbers, and when she came back, her sweet engineer had fallen asleep at the workbench. One arm splayed across the table, her head resting peacefully on it, a single curl of hair swept across her nose.   
She glanced at the clock in the corner. 2:50 in the morning.

"Ok you, up to bed we go." She gently hooked one arm around the engineer's shoulders and head, the other under the back of her knees.

Holtzmann murmured something about a chair as her head lulled into Erin chest. Her hands sneaking their way around the back of the physicists neck.

She gently carried the woman down into her room at the firehouse, and tucked her into the worn bed.  
"Dn't wan'cha tu leave." Holtz murmured in her near-sleep.

Erin looked from her, to the door, and back to her again.  
She sighed, changed into her PJ's and crawled in next to the engineer.   
"Goodnight Jillian." She placed a kiss onto her cheek.

"G'nighy Gilly" 

Erin had no intentions of sleeping that night. She couldn't if she wanted to keep Holtzmann.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm fully committed to this being a long fic now. It's no longer a one shot like I originally intended.   
> Get ready for a bumpy ride.


	4. A bonus of what Holtz thinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a bonus chapter on what Holtzmann thinks of all this.   
> Or a 'behind the scenes' of what's going on when Erin isn't in the picture.  
> Aka  
> The start of Erin's downfall.

Erin was acting weird, Holtz decided, she hadn't gotten angry at leaving the keys in her condo, she hadn't realized she was wearing PJ's when they left, even though she had obviously changed into them before she left her room.

That was the strangest thing Holtz noticed, Erin had fallen asleep wearing her clothes, barely taking the time to remove her overalls before falling into bed. But she came out wearing PJ's?

And the pancakes, the dishes were hot enough to singe your skin, but Erin handled them like they were cold.   
The chocolate was runny, obviously meaning that it was still at near boiling temperature, but she ate it without a problem.  
Same with the water in the strawberries, steaming, but again not noticed.

She never felt the temperature in any of those situations.  
Holtz needed to test her theory.

As soon as they got to the firehouse, she made Erin a cup of coffee, boiling hot. No reaction. 

So she made a second cup, and put it into the fridge.   
Hours later, she handed it to Erin.  
Erin sipped at it, and held no response at how cold it was.

Holtzmann started to worry, and a worried Holtzmann always approached Erin.

Except Erin could not know of this, so instead Holtzmann approached Abby.

"Somethings wrong with Erin." She stood stiff as a board in front of Abby's desk. The woman being hunched over her work.

Abby looked up with a frown, "What do you mean?" She started to stand but Holtz motioned for her to keep sitting.

"She's been acting weird, Abby I think, I think Erin might be possessed." This made Abby antsy, possession was a sore subject for her. She knew how much a ghost possessing you hurt, because no matter how hard you fought, the ghost always fought harder to tear you down.

If Erin was being possessed, they needed to get it out of her, "What makes you say that?"

"She's been acting weird, like really really weird. She can't feel temperature, we went for breakfast this morning, and she couldn't feel the heat of boiling chocolate, or the hot plate."

"Is that all you have? Maybe you overestimated how hot it was?" They needed to make sure Erin was actually possessed before they go accusing her of it.

"I didn't, but to double check, I gave her a really hot coffee, she immediately took a large gulp of it, it should have burned her mouth, but she didn't feel it. And as a third check, I gave her a cold coffee, you know Erin hates cold coffee! But she sipped it, nodded and went back to her work. Abby I know something is wrong."

Abby ran her hands over her face, "Ok, ok, say she was possessed, how do we get the ghost out of her? Because as much as I love her, Patty's slap probably won't work a second time. Rowan was done with me anyways, he left on his own accord. And if this ghost has been in Erin for this long, it probably has a pretty good grip on her."

Holtz paused, "I've had an idea circling my head about an anti-possession chair, and given a few days I could whip it up." She shook her head, "But what do we do about Erin in the meantime?"

"We pretend like we don't know about it, and we keep looking for signs. Anything Erin does that isn't of her norm. Make a list, we done know much about this ghost, and as close as it acts to Erin, it can't be perfect."

 

And as of the next morning, her list consisted of, lack of temperature feeling, lack of appetite, lack of blushing, never getting tired, a good lier, and is incredibly strong. Having carried Holtz to her room with no problem what so ever.

 

"How much did you sleep last night?" Holtz rolled over and is met by a smiling Gilbert-Imposter. 

"I got a little bit of sleep, but I'm fine. How about you? Did you sleep well?"

"Beside my favourite physicist? I slept beautifully!" She snuggled into Erin's arms, if the imposter thought Erin was a cuddler, she wasn't going to say no, even if it wasn't actually Erin, it was still Erin's arms and body, and she was going to enjoy every moment she could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written in like 10 minutes and immediately posted with no proofreading... I apologize for any spelling errors or any grammatical mistakes.  
> I am a tad dyslexic, so that happens from time to time.


	5. Chapter 5

There were 249 small glow in the dark stars glued to the roof of Holtzmann's room, which had taken her 30 minutes to count the first time, and another 25 to count the second time to double check the fact that there weren't 250, who sells stars in packages of 3. Or more or less likely, packs of 83.  
More so who buys 3 packages of 83 stars, or 83 packages of 3 stars?

It took her a little over 50 minutes to find one small star glued to her door handle, presumably so the woman could find it in the dark.

1 hour and 45 minutes was all it took to find and count every single star in Holtzmann's room.   
Not that she was counting the minutes.

But there was only so much a person could do in a room as interesting as Holtzmann's. 

A total of 250 stars were in her room, and there were also 17 scorch marks on the walls, and 3 on the roof. So for the next 2 hours and 17 minutes, Erin created stories for each and every burn mark.   
Her favourite one was the smallest one on the ceiling, which involved a fire dancer and a ferret.

 

Her stories were interrupted at last when Holtz's lips smacked together and her back arched in a cat-like bow. Erin snickered at the comparison between Holtz and a cat.

"How much did you sleep last night?" Holtz rolled over and lazily looked at her.

"I got a little bit of sleep, but I'm fine. How about you? Did you sleep well?" 

"Beside my favourite physicist? I slept beautifully!" She snuggled into Erin, the physicist sighing as she spooned her favourite engineer, wrapping her arm around the woman's middle.

"You flatter me so." Erin said, resting her nose against the back of Holtz's neck. Being thankful of the few inches of hight she had on the woman. They stayed like that for an extra ten minutes.

 

They both jumped when the firehouse's alarm went off, another ghost.

They both crawled out of bed, Erin slightly faster than Holtzmann, but they were both out the door and racing upstairs at the same time.

"I bet you're glad we fixed you pack last night eh?" Holtzmann sent her a wild smile, Erin sending her a single thumbs up, having only one arm in her coveralls.

"I'll get the packs loaded, you help Abby with containment?" Holtz nodded as she zipped herself up, and was immediately flying down the fireman's pole.

Unloading the containment unit usually took two people to do, and they obviously hadn't done it after the last bust.

Erin grabbed the pack closest to her and threw it into her back, and picked two others up as she walked out the door. Holtzmann going back to grab the last one.

Minutes later the three of them were piled into the car, and going to pick Patty up at her apartment. 

"This is to early, y'all are crazy." Buckling herself into the backseat with Erin.

"Come on Patty-cakes! It's only what, 7:30?" Patty grumbled a response and kicked the back of Holtz seat. 

They all voted they stop for sandwiches before they go on the bust, none of them having eaten breakfast yet.

 

It took them a little under 30 minutes to arrive at their destination after stopping at the deli. And already they could tell this would end terribly.

"So I vote we don't split up." Patty, ever the voice of reason.

"Seconded." Abby shared a look with Holtzmann, "I'm also thinking this is a leyline discharge, my bets are on that we are going to have a few more arrivals shortly."

Erin agreed, by the way the hair on the back of her neck stood up. Already she felt a power surge inside her chest. And she wasn't even inside the grand mansion yet.

"So, I have a bad feeling about this. And last time I got a bad feeling about a ghost, it didn't end well." Erin shuffled in her seat.

"Any suggestions then?" 

"Uh well, no, not really." 

"Then we'll go in the old fashioned way!" Holtz crawled out of the window and raced to the back of the vehicle. Abby taking the keys out of the ignition and stuffing them into her pocket, grumbling something about 'not again.'

Holtz had no new toys for them, but instead reminded them about their panic buttons. Glancing at Erin and putting emphasis on 'panic' button.

 

Everyone was silent and still.  
In all honesty, Erin would have preferred it if the ghosts had immediately jumped them.

They stared at her, silent. "Erin why are they staring at you." She gulped.

"I don't know," she whispered, but could guess as to why. "Maybe I should try talking to them?" She took a tentative step forward.

"Try not to piss 'em off, yea?" Patty shuffled on her feet, none of them liked this.

"Uh, hi, I'm Erin Gilbert." She swallowed as the ghosts around her shuffled, hearing murmurs of nonsensical words. "I am apart of the ghostbusters."

"Is that true?" A ghost to her left yelled, and she quickly glanced back at her group of humans.

"Uh, yes, it's true, I am a ghostbuster." She directed to the group of ghosts on her left.

"Erin who are you talking to?" Abby looked worried.

"You can't hear them?" 

"Why would you work for them?"  
"Do they hurt you?"  
"How could you do this to your own kind?"

Erin took a few hasty steps backward, "So I don't think they like me."

A ghost child flew up in front of Abby and floated there. "Are they your friends?" The girl asked. 

"Yes, they are my friends all three of them." Erin clocked her head to the side, it was almost sad to see the ghost of a child.

"Can I be one of your friends to?" The girl floated up to Patty, being eye level with her. Patty's nose flared at the close proximity to the ghost.

"You want to be our friend?" That made the three other Ghostbusters look at her.

"Yea, I would ever so love to see the world! But I'm stuck here. I wish I was like you, I wish I could be strong! But I have never been very strong." The ghost flew over to Holtz.

"What? What do you mean by strong? I'm not," Erin shook her head, "What?"

"You're strong Erin, you could lead us!" The ghost child walked up to Erin, "You could lead us like Rowan once did, you could bring us back into the light!" The girl floated back into the blue crowd of people as another ghost took her place, a woman.

"Rowan is not a good person, he nearly killed thousands, millions of innocent people." 

"You miss understand," the ghost opened her arms to Erin, "Rowan was simply trying to unite both sides of the barrier."

"Rowan wasn't trying to 'unite' anyone! He planned only for the revenge on humanity."

"Yes, but only as a human. When he died, he became something different, something larger than his revenge. But it was to late to change anything on his machine. So his plan went forth, and he flipped the switch. But he intended to help us don't you see?"

"No, no I don't see, I don't see how Rowan could ever have single mindedly helped you in any way if it didn't help his own plan. And he went crazy! He hurt my friends, and then proceeded to level a large part of the city! I'm sorry, but I don't understand how that helps anyone." 

"Perhaps I can explain further. His machine was flawed, it drew energy from our realm, but the energy was solely anger. Any spirit that was around those machines, if they had any anger inside them, it was brought forward, any ghost nearby, made malevolent. It drew hatred, and anger, and hurt, and pain, towards it, and made those feelings stronger. These same emotions plagued him just as well as the rest of us." The woman gestured to the wide variety of ghosts around her, "Maybe he intended it to be like that in the beginning, maybe he built it in hopes for revenge against the humans. But when he became one of us he changed. Dying changed him for the better."

"That doesn't change what he's done." 

"You never knew him as we did. He was going to save us Erin. Those of us death left to suffer. You don't know our pain, you still have your friends, and your family, and your memories, but we? We have nothing. We, are, nothing. It's rare when any of us can manifest long enough to sit and enjoy the sound of our own voice, or the feeling of our feet touching the floor. You don't know the feeling of talking but not even hearing yourself. Of reaching out to console your grieving daughter, but your hand going through her, or resting your hand on her shoulder and not even feeling her silk dress." The ghost sounded sad, a little betrayed, envious at the experiences Erin takes for granted. 

"Or going to your own funeral and not being able to feel the rain on your face." A ghost chimed in from the side.

"Or feeling the breeze in your hair!" A teenager to her left.

"Standing at the bottom of the ocean not feeling the sand between your toes, or the pressure on your lungs!" A young man in a WW1 jacket.

"Not being able to cry when your wife looses the last child you could have ever had!" A would have been father to the right.

"Not crying when you watch every single person you've ever known pass away before your very eyes, because you will never pass on, and never age!" A woman in victorian clothing stood out in the crowd and flew towards Erin stopping meters back.

"Stop! Stop, please! I'm sorry! There's nothing I can do!" The ghosts seemed to start closing in on her, screaming words, desperate for Erin to give them what they need.

"You can do everything! You can lead us!"  
"Lead us to the light!"  
"Rebuild Rowan's dream!"  
"Pick up where he left off!"  
"Give us back our lives!"

"No," she shook her head, "I- I can't, I can't do that." She backed up, vaguely realizing she's backed up into Patty. "Arm yourselves!" The girls immediately had weapons in their hands.

"Grab her!" A woman yelled, and immediately every ghost in the room threw themselves forward.

They were doing well, until a ghost threw himself up through the floor and knocked them all to the ground.

Three ghosts tacked Erin dragging her into an adjacent room. Six other ghosts dragging the other three women into a completely different room.

"If you can't take charge, then I will! Give. Me. Your. Power!" The woman cried in near pure anger.  
Two ghosts had Erin pinned up against the wall. And the woman forced her hands into Erin's chest.

The pain she felt was excruciating, it felt like her entire body was being torn apart atom by atom.

Then she remembered she was a ghost, and simply slid through the wall, it felt weird at first, like the first time you slowly dip your head into a river or lake, and then pulling it out because it was freezing cold.

She could hear her pack land on the ground on the other side of the wall.

Her friends were in this room, yelling and fighting, desperately trying to get back into the hallway to rescue Erin.

They were vastly overwhelmed, she needed to think of something, fast.

And then it hit her, they could steal power from her, could she do it back to them?

She flew back through the wall and crashed into the ghost child, she pictured energy leaving the girls body and flowing into her own.

It worked in an instant, the girl faded and the next ghost took her place. 

Erin could see the blue paranormal energy seeping out of her. She couldn't do that to many more times before it wouldn't be fixable.

But maybe, just maybe, she could gather enough energy, and expel it in a far enough radius, in a large enough explosion, that it could take out the ghosts in the mansion.

She took out seven other ghosts in the same manor as the ghost child. Blowing caution to the wind.

Her mind was racing, every sense in overload, she picked up her pack and ran into the grand hall where they were a few minutes previous. 

And then pictured a bomb going off inside her.

 

Erin groaned as she rolled onto her side, knees slightly bent. "Erin!"

"Over here!" She coughed, enjoying the feeling of not moving. 

"Oh thank the baby lord Jesus, what the hell happened!" Patty was there first to her rescue. 

"I think, I think the leyline discharge, spike, thing, decided to recall all the ghosts it let out. Or maybe just closed the barrier. I don't know." She curled up even more into a ball.

"What did they do to you in there?" Abby demanded, having finally picked herself, and Holtz, up off the floor.

"Uh well, I think the ghost shoved her arms into my stomach, and then she was talking about stealing the energy out of my body. And then an explosion went off beside me, and it threw me out here." Erin gestured to her general surroundings, "And then I woke up, and the ghosts were all gone."

"Christ, what is it with ghosts being against you this week?" Holtzmann grabbed her by the shoulder and hauled her up to her feet.

She immediately spewed her breakfast out onto the floor. They all took a few quick steps back from her.

That's weird, she thought, shouldn't her stomach have emptied itself as soon as she turned ghost?

Unless she had somehow forced the food through the wall as well. That thought hurt her brain, the energy needed in order to turn food into a ghost would be unbelievable.

"Can I go home now?" She stumbled backwards after emptying her stomach, Holtzmann catching her and pulling her into a hug, "I feel awful, and exhausted, and so not ready for this today." She grumbled into Holtzmann's shirt.

"I locked your keys into your apartment remember?" Holtz said, probably with a stupid smile on her face.

"That's fine, I have spare keys attached to my own apartment keys." Abby offered lightly.

"Thank god." Erin turned and walked outside. Ok, maybe going boom was a bad idea. But at least she had prepared by devouring several other ghosts first.

The thought made her shudder.

She opened the door to the spruced up Cadillac, and sank into the back seat.   
Momentarily enjoying their decision to stay with keeping the Ecto-1 as an old Cadillac with beautifully comfy seats. The car itself could be included as its own team member. More so even than Kevin.

"Aaaand down you go Gilly." Holtz had climbed into the backseat with her, and pulled her head down to her lap.  
She kicked off her boots and curled up in the back seat, using Holtzmann as a makeshift pillow.

"This is happening more and more you know."

"What, your head appearing in my thighs?" That smirk was back in Holtzmann's voice. Patty and Abby laughed at her expense.

"You know what?" Erin said, "Forget I said anything." And much quieter, she added, "Insufferable prick." As she nuzzled down further into her lap, and into a more comfortable position, Holtz's fingers quickly finding themselves placed within Erin's hair, giving a gentle scalp massage.

Erin would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late compared to usual, I had to rewrite Erin's conversation with the ghost at LEAST 5 times because I didn't like it.  
> But I still didn't like it after, so I gave up. So if it's a bit chunky, I appologize.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin has more bad thoughts/dreams   
> And then finds herself in a little bit of a pickle after she has a brainwave about ghosts.

Can I really trust them? Would they accept me? After all, I have been lying to them for so long now.

Erin rolled onto her side, thoughts plaguing her like nightmares.

What would they think of me? I'm a monster now, the way I can devour other ghosts in order to make myself stronger, cannibalizing in order to destroy more of my own kind.

Guilt tumbled in her stomach, and fear ate away at her chest.

Would they bust me? Lock me inside a containment unit for the rest of my never ending after-life? What happens to a dead ghost? Do we become nothingness? Is it just a never ending loops of ghost realms for already existing ghost realms? 

What are their reactions going to be? Abby is going to hate me, I've lied to her face, I left her again in a completely new way. She was utterly destroyed when I died, will this destroy her? Like it did last time?

Patty, she won't understand most of it, but she'll come to terms with it. We haven't known each other for very long, perhaps she'll feel betrayed, and angry, for being lied to, for once again having to hold the others together. Without Erin herself, of course. She wouldn't except Erin like this, not when Abby would have such strong feelings about it.

She couldn't even begin to picture the hurt Holtzmann would go through.  
The idea alone made her start dry heaving, sobbing, ectoplasmic tears slowly dripping down her face.  
Holtz would never forgive her. They had built something so nice over the last two weeks. It was an understanding, a trust.  
A trust where one side was living a false life. Betrayal through the deepest of roots.  
Holtz had been so kind to her. Taking care of her. Loving her.

I could run. I could disappear.  
I could let them live with a lie, something less painful than the truth.

An acceptance letter from the most prestigious university, except they know the real Erin would never abandon the ghostbusters.

Perhaps she could disappear, a missing person to eventually dissipate into the background. There would be pain, and grief, and loss, but it would be far away, wrapped in hope, before they forget about her completely, years go by and only remembered a few moment in a year. 

A few words trigger a memory of her, an action done by someone who knows nothing about her.

Perhaps they would see a woman wearing tweed and a tear would threaten to slip. They play it off as a cold and continue on.

Except Erin is greedy, she knows that, that's why she would never run, or hide. She needs those three other people like a lifeline. Being alone hurts her, and she's willing to push that hurt into them if only she doesn't deal with it.

Erin feels herself slipping from existence as a new crash of exhaustion passes over her. 

 

She awakes the next day at 4 in the morning. Having slept 10 hours after passing out on her bathroom floor.

She felt emotionally dead, leaning against the bathtub, knowing it should feel cold against her back, she let a shiver pass over her, if only for old times sake.

 

She arrived at the firehouse at 4:30, and got to work calculating the sheer amount of energy it would take to force a physical object to act in a ghostly form, such as pass through solid objects, and turn invisible to the living eye.

"What are you doing here so early Gilbert?" Holtzmann's voice made her jump, "Shouldn't you be resting up?"

She recovered fairly quickly, "I got enough sleep for a whole week in one night. I think I'm doing pretty good. Besides, im working on a new theory. What time is it anyways?" Erin had a full white bored covered in calculations. And nearly a full alphabet's worth of algebraic letters spewed into her half built formula.

"About 5:15, what'cha working on?" Holtz slid up beside her, her arm sneaking around the physicists waist and pulling her close enough their hips touched.

"Well, I was wondering how much energy it would take to force a physical object into acting as a ghost like object." Holtzmann nodded, contemplating the theory.

"That would be an insane amount of energy, how did you come up with it?" Holtz scratched at a letter on the whiteboard, giving it a patchy look.

"Well, ghosts can physicalize themselves, what if they could, I don't know, do the opposite? Like pass a lamp through the wall. It just intrigued me, so I'm testing if it would ever be possible." Erin fixed the letter Holtz scratched and added a few more variables to her ever growing legend on a piece of loose paper pinned to the bottom corner of her white bored.

"Why do you think it would take energy to do that?" Holtzmann meandered over to another board and started doodling on it.

"Um well... Uh, the ghost yesterday, she said something about stealing my energy, while she was uh, while she had her hands plunged into my chest. And she didn't mess around with my organs or anything, so I think she was stealing some sort of energy from me. It would explain why I was so tired after she did it. And I thought, she probably needed that energy for something, maybe to stay manifested." Erin's brain nearly exploded in new ideas.

"Maybe, just maybe that's what a leyline discharge is! It would release endless amounts of paranormal energy, the ghosts manifest there, because that's how they gather energy!" Erin fumbled with a new whiteboard, erasing old equations, and started a diagram of what she was talking about, "See, the discharge releases energy, the energy lingers, so the ghosts arrive to consume it, they get to live again, speak to each other or maybe just speak to living people, they can feel and throws stuff around, but then when the leyline discharge has been all used up, and goes back into hiding, the ghosts can be free and wander around again until they loose the energy and go back to being invisible, and well, a ghost."

"What happened yesterday then? Why did they all disappear in a flash?" Holtz was studying Erin's face, a wide smile, near crazy eyes flitting between her equation, her diagram and Holtzmann herself, judging her reaction.

Erin but her lip, thinking of a plausible lie. "Maybe, maybe the leyline has energy of its own, like it's alive..." Erin's fingers rubbed together at her side, brain working a mile a minute, "Like, OH! Like it's alive! Think of energy like blood! And the leyline a and ghosts use the same blood right? So the leyline can get hurt, it bleeds a little bit of energy, the ghosts appear like a virus, or no, more like a parasite, they feed off of the blood, but if to much blood escapes, then the leyline needs to draw it back in, right? So it drains the ghosts of the energy it gave them, and POOF! The ghosts have been dragged back into non-existence!" Holtz thought Erin's pen looked like it was dancing, the way it skittered around the board, creating lines and shapes creating veins, and clouds that spoke of ghosts, and ghosts going poof. 

Holtz's smile beamed, stretching ear to ear, her eyes wide and nearly maniacal. "So how would you measure the energy of a ghost?"

"Well you see if-," Erin spent the next hour explaining her basic idea to Holtz.,"- that way we could register if a ghost was nearby more accurately than that simple old PKE meter!"

"Because the PKE meter only registers a ghost if it's already manifested! Erin you beautiful genius!" Holtz picked up Erin's hand and kissed it before dancing over to her own table. "You've just thought of a way we could measure ghost activity before the ghost is even a problem! Hit'em while their down! Brilliant! I need to write this down!" Holtz started running towards the door.

Erin's brain started reeling, that was bad, very bad for ghosts, they wouldn't be able to communicate anything, malevolent or not they would be sucked into a silver canister, never to continue their near peaceful after-lives.  
And that new energy reading object would be able to tell them Erin was a ghost.

Erin started back tracking, "Wait, that's not a good idea, what about-," but Holtz was already out the door.

Shit. Now what does she do?

She continued working, that was a problem for future Erin to figure out.

It was an hour later when Holtz appeared, Abby a few moments behind her, plans and equations neatly tucked under her arm. 

Holtz usually required someone to give her equations for a new idea. So Erin thought nothing of it when the two of them bounced ideas off one another, only catching a few words like 'Chair' and 'Ghost containment handcuffs'.

"Hey Gillman! What do you think the best way to hold a ghost in one place, but still being able to chat with'em?" Erin looked up to meet Holtz's eyes.

Erin frowned, "You mean like handcuffs?" 

"Ha! See? She agrees with me!" Holtz clapped her hands as Abby shook her head.

"Which would hold a ghost better Erin? A ghost cell? Or ghost handcuffs?" 

"Well, both have benefits, handcuffs would be better if you were trying to interrogate a ghost or experiment on it, but if you wanted to simply observe it you should go with the cell." Erin slowly walked over to the two other ghostbusters, "Why? What are you planning?"

"Oh nothing!"   
"Nothing important!" Both women spoke at once. Holtz snatching the plans up off the table before Erin could see. "It's gonna be a surprise for you!" 

Both women scuttled off in different directions before Erin could get a word in. "I hate surprises Abby! You know that!" She called down the stairs, just as Patty had walked in.

They made eye contact, and Patty looked around, seeing both other woman frantically doing something to get away from Erin. She shrugged and made her way up to Erin.

"What's goin' on with those two? They planning a secret birthday party or something?" Patty flopped down into Erin's roll-y chair as the other glared at Holtzmann's workbench

"I don't know! But honestly I'm nervous, you don't just ask someone about handcuffs and then run away from them!" Patty started openly laughing, "Shut up! Not like that! Gosh you're as bad as Holtz!"

"I'll take that as a compliment thank you!" 

"Argg I hate all of you!" Erin dug her palms into her eyes, before turning to Patty, "Can you just talk to them? Please? I can't stand not being in the loop, especially when everyone else is!"

"Yea yea, I know, I'll go talk to your girlfriend and the soup lady for you." Patty stood up once again, and made her way to the door, "You so owe me for this though!" 

"Thank you Patty!" Erin called out after her.

 

It was hours before she even saw anyone after that weird incident. And when she saw Patty at last, the woman just shrugged her shoulders, she probably couldn't get anything from either of them.   
But then Patty started ignoring her to, but differently that the other two.

Patty avoided her like she had the plague, whereas Abby and Holtz just simply avoided speaking to her.  
Holtz still peacocking around her station, Abby still exchanging algebra in order to check equations.  
Just that both of them avoided eye contact and avoided speaking to her as much as possible.

 

This went on for three whole days, before Erin finally flipped, "Christ, you're all acting so strange. I don't don't smell bad do I? Is it something I said?"

They just laughed it off, but the tension still remained.

"Alright, well, I'm going home, you people are acting weird and I'm tired of it."

"Oh wait!" Holtz jumped up, scaring Erin by the sudden movement. Not that that was uncommon. "I have something to show you before you go home! Follow!" She took off upstairs in a flurry. 

Erin rolled her eyes softly at the woman, "I swear if this is some sort of surprise party, I will not be happy."

She marched up the stairs much slower than the other two, ignoring the shared look between the two women.

Holtz poked her head out of a room, "You're surprise is in here! We've been working on it for the last few days!" She handed Erin an eye mask, "You have to put this on first! And no peaking!"

Erin sighed but put on the mask anyways, seeing nothing, she relied on Holtz not to kill her, which in itself was a scary subject. But if this got rid of the stupid tension, she could trust Holtzmann.

"Ok, and a few more feet forward, there, you can feel a chair yes? Sit down on it." Sure enough there was a chair in front of her. Why? She would never be able to tell you.

"Ok you comfortable?"

"Uh, yea? I guess?"

"Good! Because you are not about to be!"

"What are you-" that's when iron clamped down into her wrists, and moments later, her ankles. "Holtz what are you doing?" When Holtz ripped the mask off of her face, the first thing she saw was the maniacal look on Holtzmann's face.

Erin had a very, very awful feeling about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm just, so sorry. I don't like leaving you guys on cliffhangers, but it just needed to happen this time.  
> I'm sorry, truly I am!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin is tortured, and her secret is finally revealed. Her relations with all three girls are tested, and more than likely destroyed.  
> Patty is the only person with a brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very cruel to Erin in this chapter. I'm so sorry. This is not a nice chapter. I hurt myself writing this. My heart actually hurts for all of those girls.

Erin pulled at the clamps around her wrists, her arms very tightly bound to the iron chair.

"What are you doing?" Her heart pounded, "This isn't funny anymore!" She could almost feel the iron digging into her ankles as well. 

Abby appeared in front of her, "Get out of her."

"What? Abby what are you-"

"We know your a ghost, now get out of my friend." Erin noticed the other two women standing off to the side, not noticing when they had walked in, Holtz was holding a device. All three of them were geared up with their packs.

"Abby I don't know what your talking about! Let me out!" 

Abby shook her head, "No see, we know your possessing her. And now that we know, there's no reason you need to stay inside her. And now I'm giving you the chance to leave."

"Abby, I'm not possessed! You have to listen to me! What even made you think that?" She continued to pull at her restraints, ignoring the pain biting at her ankles and wrists.

"Alright Holtz, shall we show this ghost that we mean business?" 

Holtz stepped forwards and Abby moved slightly more to the left to make room for her. "Well, you see this? This hurts ghosts, and it hurts ghosts a lot, I like to call it-"

"A torture device, you're going to use a torture device on me? Holtzmann no, please, I am Erin, you have to believe me!" 

"Well if that is true, then this won't hurt now will it? See?" Holtz pressed a button and roughly jabbed it into Abby's shoulder, the woman frowned but said nothing. "See? It tingles a living things, but it a not gonna tingle if you'z iz'a ghost!" The manic smile on Holtzmann's face made Erin's heart pound.

"Why do you think I'm possessed? Holtz, Abby, Patty? Please! Explain! Please? I don't understand what's going on." Erin started to panic, she felt a twinge as soon as Holtz turned on the machine, she needed a way out before they got the chance to use it on her.

"You've been acting differently, since just before the building collapse, we only pieced it together a few weeks ago, you don't feel temperature, and you, or, possessed Erin, have been acting differently, you're carrying three times the amount of weight Erin would even attempt to carry, you don't sleep, always here before 4 in the morning, even workaholic Erin never came that early." Erin's head fell, she was definitely caught now. There was no way out of this now.

"And as an added bonus, you've been reacting to my advances, maybe you thought Erin liked me, maybe you liked the way I treated Erin and wanted it for yourself. Doesn't matter! It only gave you away!"

Erin flinched, "You thought- you flirted with me, to prove a point?"

She could feel her heart slowly breaking.

"Sure you could call it that, as bad as it was, I couldn't break character when I knew now could I?" Holtz flipped on the hand held ghost torturing device. "Now get out of Erin." 

"Holtz please." 

Erin's heart broke completely as the woman plunged the device into her stomach.

Instantly it felt like there was fire inside her veins, spiders crawled along her skin, fire ants tearing her flesh away piece by bloody piece, her screams tore at her own throat, fingers curled into themselves, metal cutting flesh at her wrists and ankles. It was as though every single nerve in her body was simultaneously lit on fire with the heat of a million dying stars.

Holtz finally removed the device after what felt like hours, which was in fact more like minutes.

Tears streaming down her face, breaths wracking her body, heart pounding so hard it hurt.

"Get out of Erin, and this will all go away." Holtz was the only one smiling now, in fact Patty looked like she was going to be sick.

"You don't- you don't understand, I-I can't." Erin's head fell ever so slightly sideways.

"Sure you can! We figured normal human restraints would be best, that way the ghost inside could run away free! The whole idea of holding the ghost itself was scrapped when we realized we needed you, the ghost, to leave Erin, not stay stuck inside."

"I'm not possessed Holtz." 

"Awe really? Because it really seems like you are." She smiled at her before she plunged the device into her chest.

Erin could vaguely remember Patty backing further away, Abby started to look sick to, obviously not enjoying the idea of torturing her friend. Not sure if the Erin inside could feel what fresh hell her body was going through. But just as long as she got her friend back, it justified the torture of her.

Holtz looked as though she was enjoying herself.

She took out the device again, but Erin spoke first.

"How can you do this to me."

"Because you aren't Erin. We want Erin back." It seemed like perfect sense to Holtzmann.

"Even if I was another ghost, how could you do this to another being? Ghosts used to be alive, every ghost used to be another person, or another animal." She swallowed down her own bile, and panted hard, "You willingly torture a human, you don't even know?"

"Ghosts aren't human."

Erin shook her head in disbelief, "Oh god, maybe Rowan was right. All those ghosts were right, I really can't trust you, the ghostbusters don't care about ghosts, you can't even stop to listen to one. I can't even trust my only friends." Erin openly weeped, sobs shaking her entire body. 

Patty covered her ears as Holtz rammed the device once again into Erin's chest.

Through the minutes of torture, Erin's mind withdrew inside itself, shutting out the pain as best she could.

She knew she needed to leave, there was no way she could convince them to leave her be. They hated ghosts, she was a ghost, and now they hated her every being, not stopping to let her explain anything.

They hated her. 

Abby, her childhood friend, the only friend that ever stood by her torture in high school and middle school, stood by and openly watched as she was tortured, initiating the torture.

Holtzmann, the one person she thought might have actually loved her. She was openly torturing her, she was enjoying it, she created the device that was now ripping her apart. Her love was faked, false even from the beginning. When Erin acted on the feelings that she finally noticed were there, it was seen as fake, as someone else's doing.   
Erin's heart felt empty. A hole punched through it that drained all feeling from it. 

Patty was perhaps the most human of them all, curled up in the corner, fingers plugged into her ears, eyes ground shut, trying to un-see the images of her friend being tortured.

Erin barley registered when Holtz withdrew the machine.

"Are you ready to give up now?"

Erin blinked slowly, and then looked up at Holtzmann. 

"I truly thought you loved me." That made them all pause, Erin smiled, giving out a dry laugh, "See, it's almost funny now."

Holtz made a move to start torturing her again, but Erin lifted her arm and knocked the device from the woman's hands. 

The all stumbled away from her glowing blue hand. "Oops, my bad." Erin stood up on shaky legs, allowing her body to fade into blue, a less energy consuming form. "There's no need for more of that." She gently stroked her sore wrists.

"Erin-" Abby's voice was soft, to soft.

"I don't want to hear anything, not anymore. I don't care." She turned and walked through the door, not bothering to open it first.

Two women scrambled after her down the stairs, Patty called after her. "Erin wait! Please! You have to explain!"

Erin stopped and turned around, "You want an explanation? I'm dead. I'm a ghost. You guys are human, Humans and ghosts don't mix. The end. I can see that now. Even though I couldn't before." 

"We didn't know. How could have we known?" Abby stepped out from behind Patty.

"You could have asked, it would have been so easy. But no, was it really your first instinct? To torture me? I thought we were scientists, I thought we asked questions and then found the answers. Not shoot first and ask questions later." Her voice broke several times throughout.

"Erin-"

"NO! No, because you still don't get it? The ghostbusters have changed, we wanted to study ghosts, in the beginning, find out everything about them. But now what are you? Exterminators? We rarely leave a ghost alive anymore. We used to ask them questions, and now you jump head first into battle, never once caring that the ghost might not be malevolent. Always saying that it was malevolent after the fact that it died. Of course it would try to defend itself, we slaughtered them. And we expect it to sit there quietly when we burst through their door and start shooting?"

"Erin, I'm sorry, you should have told us-"

"Told you? And what would you have done differently? Accepted me for what I was? No, you would run experiments on me, you would see how far I could be stretched out, see what I could do. I'd be another pet project of yours!"

Everyone was silent. Until Patty broke that silence. 

"We just tortured you." Patty shook her head, "We should have just asked, as soon as we had doubts, we should have just asked." Erin studied Patty's face, she looked as though she were about to cry. "Abby, we just tortured our best friend, and now we're arguing with her."

"We aren't arguing-" Patty pushed Abby away, and slowly backed towards Erin. 

"Abby, we just willingly tortured Erin, for an hour. She was screaming at us to stop the whole time, and we didn't. She told us the truth, and we still continued to torture her." Patty stopped walking when she was beside Erin. "And now we're arguing with her, Abby. Erin's dead, and we're just hurting her more."

Abby breathed out a shaky breath, "I'm sorry Erin. I didn't... I don't know what to say. I'm just... God I don't even know anymore." Abby's entire being seemed to melt a little bit, she slouched, her head fell, her eyes fled to the floor. "I'm so sorry." Tears flooded her eyes.

Erin breathed out and forced herself into a physical form, she held her arms out, "God damn it, come here."   
She enveloped Abby into a hug, "I need a few hours to think. And when I come back, I'll think about forgiving you."

When Abby looked up, Erin was gone, ghosting away from them, completely invisible.

Holtzmann was still nowhere to be seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! So sorry... Sorry.


	8. Chapter 8

Erin was sat at in a coffee shop four blocks from the fire station, a beautiful rich white hot chocolate in hand.

"Lady you look's sad." A small child sat down in the chair across from her. Erin's back straightens up as she pulls her mind back from wherever it was.

"Uh, I'm sorry?" She really wished she could feel warmth from the cup. 

"You look sad, what's a got'cha down? My mamma says takin' about'cha feelins makes them better. N'you can tell me! I keeps a good secret!" The boys face was mashed into his palms as he was leaning across the table so dramatically, eyes wide and curious.

Much like Holtzmann's.

"Its, it's nothing kid, really." She looked around for the boys parents, "Won't your mom worry about you disappearing on her?"

The boy shook his head, long hair flicking just at his chin, "Mamma says as long as I dunt leave the store with someone, I should be ok. But yours not ok, you looks sad! Want's to tell me about it? Pleeease?" Damn, those eyes.

"Alright, well, my friends uh," how could she possibly put this? "My friends had a surprise planned for me, but their surprise ended up hurting me, or, all of us really. And I'm not sure whether I can trust my friends anymore."

The boy smiled, "Did you talk to them's after?"

"I, yes- well, no, not really. But I understand why they had the surprise for me." Erin sipped at her hot chocolate as the boy rocked back in his seat and rubbed his chin.

"I think, I think you still needs to talk to them. Cus friends ships take work, or momma says they do. And you's is still sad about thinkin' about them's. And if they'd really did hurt you, N dont'cha think they'd be sad about what's they done as well? If I hurted my friend, I thinks I'd be really sad about it. Guilt mamma says is what it's called. 'S not a good feeling. But neithers gettin' hurts yourself."

Erin nodded, well the boy did have a couple good points, "Hmm ok, I'll do some more thinking, and then I'll go talk to them again. How about that?"

The boy absolutely beamed, "I wishes you a good luck lady!"  
And almost to soon, the boy was being ushered away by his mother.

Erin watched the heat float up from the cup for a few more minutes.

Her friends really did have good intentions, even if the same conclusion could be gathered a simpler, less painful way.

Honestly, she probably would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed. And Abby knows what being possessed feels like, she should probably feel honoured that her friend wanted her free as soon as possible. Freeing me from the possession sooner.  
Same with the other two as well.  
It was almost unfortunate that it turned out she truly hadn't been possessed.

Erin slowly breathed out, she knew she needed to go back and forgive them. Or start to anyways. She could only imagine what they were putting themselves through.

She got up and slowly walked towards the old firehouse, stopping in at the nearby pizzeria for two boxes of pizza. 

"Guys I'm back." No response, "I have pizza!" She yelled a little bit louder. 

Abby and Patty emerged looking a little bit confused, like they hadn't expected her to be back so soon.

"Why are you back so soon?" Yup, she guessed it, "We thought you were going to be gone a couple more hours."

"I had a very uplifting, and therapeutic conversation with a 4 year old who refused to leave me alone. Children will forever be a mystery to me." Erin flopped the two boxes of pizza onto the coffee table, "And I brought pizza because I thought maybe we could just, stay friends?" She clasped her hands behind her back as she rocked onto her toes and heels.

"Erin-"

"I know that what you did was for me, even if the situation wasn't exactly what you thought it would be. So, I understand that there were good intentions behind it. And, and I know I should have just told you, but honestly I died. And dying kind of throws you for a loop. And I thought, or more likely, I tricked myself into thinking you guys would hate me, or bust me or, or lock me into a containment unit like every other ghost and, and."

Erin went silent for a moment "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. Pizza?" She held out a paper plate to both women, shaking lightly. This wasn't going the way she planned it would. She was supposed to stay calm and collected, but here she was, shaking like a leaf, rambling like an idiot, and desperately trying to hold back tears.

"Erin-" Stop! She knew that voice! She did not need it right now! 

"Abby could we please just try-"

"Oh for gods sake Erin! Let me speak!" Erin fell silent, eyes wide and glossy, "Don't, don't give me those kicked puppy eyes."

"I don't have-"

"You do! You so do, and you know I can't resist them, which is why your using them now!" Abby glared in Ering general direction.

"Sorry."

"Yea yea, I know, I forgive you for using my only weakness against me. Now what I'm gonna tell you to do, is grab a piece of that meat lovers pizza, and go give it to Holtz."

Erin shuffled on her feet, "You really think she wants to see me?"

Patty made a flat, if not bored face at her, "Erin, your acting like you did something wrong." Erin met Patty's eyes, "Now go give that woman some pizza and talk to her before she blows something else up."

Erin swallowed before marching up the stairs with three slices of pizza.

She knocked on the lab's door, "Um, Holtz? Holtzmann can I- can I come in?" She waited a full 39 seconds for an answer.

"Your still standing at the door aren't you?" Her voice sounded odd, further away even though the voice was just on the other side of the door.

"Well, you know me, I-"

"Do I really though?" The door swung open and the blond haired woman was briskly walking back to her work bench.

"Holtz..." Erin was quick to follow her, placing a hand on her shoulder and turning her around. "Jillian look at me." Arms were around her instantly, the shorter woman wrapping herself around Erin.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry Erin! I shouldn't have- I thought- I should've- what I did to you-"

"Shh, hush now, it's alright, I understand. I would have done the same thing. Jill, I don't blame you. I don't blame any of you. In fact, I should thank you for doing your best to get me un-possessed, because even if it didn't turn out like that... Thank you for the meaning behind it."

The woman in her arms started openly sobbing, "Im so sorry Erin! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm s- im so sorry." 

Erin tucked the woman's face into her chest, running a comforting hand into her hair, "I forgive you, I'll always forgive you. All of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this taking so long to come out. And I appologize, because the next chapter won't be read for even longer as I am at family's house, and apparently locking yourself in a room to write and not coming out is bad.  
> Who would've thought?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patty forced them all to sit down and have a conversation.  
> Like NORMAL people do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to get out to you guys.

"I think she lied." Abby and Patty look up at Holtzmann.

"Who Erin?" Abby followed Holtzmann's line of sight, "About what?" 

"I don't think she actually trusts us."

"Honey, she didn't say she trusts us, she said she forgave us." Patty reached over and squeezed Holtz's shoulder.

"Aren't those the same thing though?" Holtz finally turned away from looking at Erin, and instead looked down at the still full bowl of soup.

"She forgave us because she understood why we did it. But, I think it'll still take time before she stops flinching away from us."

"Erin flinches away from me, not you two. She doesn't even know she does it! How am I supposed to make it up to her, if her subconscious hates my guts."

"She doesn't hate your guts Holtzy-"

"She's turned her board so that we can't see what she's working on, but just at the right angle and position so she can keep every one of us in her sights. Trust me, I've measured the angles." Holtz pushed the untouched bowl of wontons towards the centre of the table.

"Ok, maybe she doesn't trust us, you can't really blame her. But that doesn't mean she hates us."

"I tortured her, she hates me. Hell even I hate me! And I would hate me more if I tortured me to!"

"Ok that doesn't make sense, and I'm done with this, ERIN!" 

"Patty what the hell!" Holtz scrambled to cover Pattys mouth.

"I'm out-" Abby started making her get away, but Patty grabbed her before she could stand up.

"You both are sitting your ass down until we talk about this shit!" Both woman sat uncomfortably under Patty's death glare.

Erin's head popped out from the door, "Yes Patty?" Eyeing the two women who were looking increasingly uncomfortable.

"Come sit with us, I'm sick and tired of all the avoiding and tension in this damn place, and anymore of Holtz not eating is going to make me loose my mind."

"Ummm"

"Just do it Erin, she won't let us leave untill you do." Abby unhelpfully called from her seat. Erin came down the stairs slowly, eyes showing small amounts of panic.

"Ok uh, how do you want to do this?"

"How about we ask questions, and you ask questions if you have any." Patty started setting up rules.

"Can we do a tap out? If any of us are uncomfortable answering a question?" Erin sent Holtz a near grateful look, probably thinking it was for her sake.

Abby knew better, but she wasn't going to mention it, "That's a good idea."

"Ok who wants to go first?"

Silence.

"Guys really? This ain't high school anymore, you don't have to be afraid of raising your hand." Patty was so close to snapping.

"Fine fine, I'll go first." Erin paused, "Umm, darn I didn't actually, oh wait I got one-"

"-What's it like being dead?" Holtz jumped in, startling the other three women.

"Umm uh well, for me, it's pretty good, mostly. Probably not for other ghosts though."

"Why not for them?"

"Well, they don't, they can't really... Uh, ghosts, when not powered up, they can't speak, or hear, or touch things really." The women looked odd. "So, ghosts, when they try to talk, nothing comes out, they can scream, but no sound will come out. Um trying to comfort someone, your hands just sorta, go through them-"

"-What does it feel like to go through things?" Holtz again, Patty smacked her arm to tell her to behave.

"It feels a bit like suffocating, like getting a breath full of water, or the feeling of landing on your back and the air is knocked out of you. Except you never faint from it, it just stays like that until you remove yourself from whatever your in, pretty uncomfortable. I try my best to avoid doing that."

The three other women sat back and contemplated the information.

"Can you sleep?" Abby this time.

"Well, yes, I think, but not really in the conventional way, I sort of, stop existing when I sleep, and sleep a lot less. 4-5 hours can last me a day or two, three would be pushing it before I really have to sleep. Surprisingly coffee still helps with awakeness, not sure how though, I can't digest anything."

"Maybe it's a placebo effect?" Abby helpfully put forward.

Erin nodded, "Yea that's probably it, I really did drink a lot of coffee when I was alive.

Patty was the one who spoke next, "What was dying actually like?" Erin frowned, "You don't actually have to answer-"

"No it's fine, I just, I don't really know."

"You don't know?" Abby's head was lightly cocked to the side.

"Well, more like I don't remember, it's fuzzy."

"Fuzzy?" Holtzmann echoed.

"Like, it wasn't painful, even though it was, but I don't remember pain, but I still remember every second of the building coming down on top of me."

Patty flinched, remembering how the building had come down. "So that's when you died?"

Erin nodded, "I uh, hid my body from the excavation crew, and the police. Erin Gilvert is swimmin' with the fishes now." Erin sent a sad smile towards her friends.

"You-you threw your body into the ocean?" Abby looked appalled.

"Umm, yes, along with a few bricks," Erin bit her lip, and then she nodded as though she were telling a joke, "and the plank that impaled me."

"Ok you need to stop doing that. This ain't funny to us Erin. Have you lost your mind?" Patty snapped at her, unwilling to go further into any detail.

"Sorry, I guess I just lost my ability to care about my death when I died. It's kind of like a 'Ghost jokes about own death because it's funny to them' sort of way? You guys can joke about it to if you want." Erin really could not care less about her own death. 

"Hey Erin, where do you get your food? The Ghost-ery Store?" Holtz slapped the table, "Hey Abby! Where does Erin get her mail? The Ghost-Office of course!" Her eyebrows wiggled at Erin, making the girl smile.

"See! Holtzmann's got the right idea!" Erin vaguely flopped an arm in the woman's direction. 

"Now, any other ground breaking questions? Any at all?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry it took so long for me to write this sad, sad excuse for a chapter.  
> But honestly? I need help,   
> Do you guys have any questions you want answered? Or questions you think Abby, Patty, and Holtzy should ask Erin?   
> Or any questions Erin should ask any of them?
> 
> I would really appreciate it, I already know 90% of the physics and logic set up in this AU,   
> But you guys don't know it all, and so now is your chance to ask for clarification, and it will be put in the story, one way or another.
> 
> Or if your just simply curious on something.   
> (And if I don't include it in the next chapter, it means it will probably come up in a future chapter within plot.)
> 
> please ask! I'm begging you!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin is confronted by something she hasn't thought much about, and now she doesn't know what to think.

"Now, any other ground breaking questions? Any at all?" Erin was met with a contemplative silence. "Ok then I have a question of my own!"

Erin could see Holtzmann bite her lip, nervous about her question, probably knowing it was about her.

"So, um, explain the science behind the device you guys used on me," She could see Holtz thinking of a way out of it, "See, I can't really, well, feel much, pain isn't really a factor when it comes to physical things, and obviously temperature isn't, so my nerves are nearly non-existent, but when you activated it on me, it activated all of nerves, or the ghost equivalent of nerves anyways, and I was curious as to if it was possible to dial down the damage to the point that I could actually use it for my benefit." Holtzmann looked less and less like she was under attack, and more and more like she was getting an idea.

"This might require testing."

"I would assume so yes."

"Are you, ok with that?" Patty glanced between Holtz and Erin, "Because trial and error dictate that it's probably going to hurt occasionally."

After a half hour of banter between the women about where they could start on the machine, and smaller simpler questions came and went, they finally concluded their sit down.

Holtz slid her chair back, and jumped over the back of it, "We are going to need icecream, Patty! Come help me choose which flavour I want!"

"Isn't it Abby's turn?"

"No way! I chose it for her last time!"

Patty grumbled as she went to escort the blond down the block.

Erin and Abby were sat in an uncomfortable silence.

"I have one more question." Erin rose an eyebrow.

"Okay, what is it?" 

"Why haven't you moved on?" Erin paused, not really having thought about it beforehand.

"I don't, I don't know." Erin frowned, "Ghosts usually stay because of a motive right? But I don't." Erin clamped her jaw shut. She didn't have a reason for staying, so why was she here?

"Look maybe,-"

"Abby what if I never move on. We fight ghosts, pilgrims, Cowboys, I'm pretty sure we've fought a wooly mammoth! What if, what if I'm stuck here, forever." If Erin had had a heartbeat, she's sure it would have been pounding, she could almost feel a pressure in her chest. The pressure of a realization that she was probably going to out live everyone on the planet.

Never aging. Possibly never feeling anything again. Watching her friends die. Watching everyone she's ever loved die. 

It's no wonder why ghosts go malevolent after a few decades.

"Erin wait-"

"I need to think, I need air." Erin stood up from her chair and flew to the roof.

Abby left her to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY!!!  
> I am such a bad person for leaving this so long!  
> I'm sorry! Don't murder me!
> 
> The last two months-ish have been hell, and this whole "doing questions" thing was kind of boring and really hard to write so I put it off by... Much to long... Expert procrastinator right here.
> 
> Anyways, I should be doing better with the writing now, (and I hope I didn't just jinx myself.)  
> But I wouldn't expect regular updates, because I'm a terrible person.  
> I'm sorry.
> 
> But in the plus side, it won't be yet another month before I give you more updates. Because I need to get some kind of normality back into my life.
> 
> Till next time!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Abby bounce science ideas off each other,  
> And Holtz panics about what to do with Erin. 
> 
> Also, Erin gets covered in ectoplasm. It's all Holtzmann's fault, so Erin pukes all over her.  
> Revenge is a dish best served cold, with a tasty side of hot embarrassment.

"You should have seen your face!" 

"Not funny Holtzmann!" Erin stood there, at her desk, dripping from head to toe in ectoplasm. Ectoplasm that Holtz had stored in a bucket and had now dumped all over her. 

"I wanted to see if you could still get slimed! Didn't you miss it?" Since Erin had died, it seemed that she could always get out of the ectoplasm's way, and Holtzmann wondered if the ectoplasm could even stick to her anymore.

Erin's nose flared, "This? You think I could miss this?" She flicked her hand, and a gob of ectoplasm splattered onto the ground.

"Don't be mean! I think the ectoplasm missed you! I think it thinks your it's mama."

Erin glared at Holtz, and then she had an idea. She took a big breath in, like she was going to lecture Holtzmann. And then pursed her lips like she was going to blow a bubble out of gum, and breathed out as hard as she could.

Spewing ectoplasm from her lips, and absolutely covering Holtz in blue, thick, sticky ectoplasm.

Holtz was shocked into silence, her mouth partially open.

"You know Holtz, I think I'm going to enjoy ectoplasm from now on." She looked out her window at Abby, and her smile widened even more. "Abby! Patty! Come check this out!" 

"You didn't."

"Oh but I did. Revenge is best served cold. With a side of hot embarrassment of course, don't you think?" Erin ghosted and the ectoplasm ghosted with her, and stayed exactly where it was, stuck to her. "Oh darn."

"Ha! So it works!" Holtz did a dance.

"Why are you both covered in ghost guts?" Patty was the first up the stairs.

"Well actually Holtz is covered in puke." Erin said in a 'matter of fact' voice.

"Yea, she threw up on me! It was fantastic! To bad you didn't dislocate your jaw though, you can probably get more out like that. Like Gertrude!"

That's when Abby stepped in the room and took a look around, "I don't even want to know." 

"Look Abby! I'm covered in Erin's slippery fluids!" 

Abby plugged her ears, "I said I didn't want to know."

"Ok now it's awkward. Good bye!" Patty threw up her ams and walked back out the door with Abby.

"Take me with you!" No reply came.

"Seriously though, how did you do that?" Holtz jumped into Erin's slimed up arms. Disregarding the uncomfortable and uncertain look on Erin's face as she did so.

"Uh well, mostly just instinct. I thought I wanted to, so I did." Erin put Holtzmann back onto the ground. 

"Well just so you know, I thought it-"

"If you say it was sexy, then I'm leaving."

"- was sexy as hell." Holtz finished with a smirk.

"Yea, no I'm done now."  
Erin ghosted through the floor, leaving the ectoplasm that was on her on the floor. She just had to go through things in order for it to come off? Fantastic, that made her after-life 100% easier.

"Hey Erin, what do you think about ghost handcuffs? I was thinking about what you said about never asking questions anymore, and I was thinking it might be a good idea to question ghosts about their life before they died. Figure out who they were as people you know? It might add a second way of documenting them. And eventually maybe helping them pass on."

Abby was sat in front of a rough sketch of ghostly handcuffs. A list of needed properties listed along the blueprints borders. 

"I think it's a great idea! We might need to find a ghost you guys can understand though. So far we've only ran into two ghosts who can speak to us, Rowan and myself."

"Do you think it would be possible to create a translator of sorts? Or a ghost voice amplifier?" Abby bounced her idea off Erin.

"That would be an excellent idea! We would need a way to hyper amplify the EMF meter and translate wave changes into voice mechanics."

"Erin you genius! Can you work on an equation for detecting minor frequency changes, while I work on tweaking the general frequency range?"

"I'm on it Abby! And while I'm at it, I'll give these handcuff blueprints to Holtz, let her figure out the base ingredients for it."

The two then separated and went to work on their own things.

 

Holtzmann was on the roof, on the phone with her mentor, and mostly mother figure, Rebecca Gorin.

"How do I win back her trust?"

"Do whatever you did to win her trust in the first place."

"It's not that simple though!"

"Why can't it be?"

"Because, because... Because! That's why."

"Jillian, neither of us have time for this ridiculous discussion. Go talk to the woman, she's the one you should be talking to, not me."

"You know I'm not good at-"

"Talking to people? Yes I know, which is exactly why you need to start learning. Now go talk to her, and start building a bridge you can walk to her with." Then the woman hung up on Holtzmann.

Neither person were good with people, she needed to approach Patty instead, surely the most human of them all could give her some advice?

She swung herself down the fireman pole and nearly landed on Patty's desk.

"I need to be much further from that thing, I can see this now." Patty said with an amused look on her face. 

"Patty I need advice!" 

"Naw what you need is help, and a lot of it."

"That's why I'm coming to you!" Holtz missed the implication. "What do I do about Erin?"

Patty stared at the woman for a second before sighing deeply, "Honey, you have to talk to her about this, not me."

"But that's what Rebecca said."

"And your mentor was right. In order for things to get better between you and Erin, you have to have a talk between you and Erin, not you and Patty, or you and Abby, or you and Gorin."

"But how do I get back to that? I can barely talk to her without doing something stupid, or without pissing her off, or making her even more mad at me!"

"Holtzy, baby, didn't she get irritated at you even before she was a ghost?"

"Yea..."

"And didn't you already piss her off occasionally?"

"Yea..."

"And don't you already do stupid shit?"

"Well... Yea."

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is- it's just that... I don't know! It feels different!"

"Then talk to her about it! Approach her all awkward like in your usual 'I need to be serious for a few minutes' way, and talk to her until you both understand each other, and then everything can go back to normal, and then you can rebuild what was broken beforehand."

Holtz was frowned for a few seconds, but then an enormous smile burst onto her face.

"God bless you Patty!" She gave Patty a sloppy kiss on the forehead before taking off out the front doors of the firehouse. 

"That woman is going to kill me one day."

"That woman's going to kill us all one day. What's your point?" Abby rounded the corner with a textbook in hand.

"Not with radiation, I meant more so a heart attack, or maybe with worry."

"The trick is to stop worrying about her, she has a knack about knowing when things are going to explode in her face."

"Except when it's people and relationships." Patty leaned back in her chair, and threw a leg up onto a nearby box of books.

Abby finally looked up from the book, "Oh I see now, did she come talking to you about Erin?"

"Yup."

"Did she talk to Rebecca first?"

"How did you know?" Patty puzzled.

"Because I've worked with the woman for years, I know her tells. And where her panic button leads to. Rebecca is third on her speed dial."

Patty snorted, "Their both crazy."

"Can't really blame Gorin though, could you imagine how crazy you would have to be to take on Miss. Crazy as an apprentice?" Both women laughed.

"That's damn true, poor woman."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a "SORRY" for how short the last chapter was.  
> Also because I was in a writing mood because insomnia for a good hour or two...  
> I apologize for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes.  
> It's to early in the morning for this.  
> Or late at night... whichever 4 o'clock feels like to you at this particular time.


End file.
